I believe sometimes we get confused about the role of a mother,when I look back on my role as a mother I realize that I made a lot of mistakes. I did not stand by my children and put them first always and I have to live with that now. I realize now that I was more interested in lust for their father and not being responsible for my life. My role as a mother did not start out very well at all. Being a mother is a very difficult task and a sometimes hard job to be good at but I realize now that I was too young to start being a mother at 16. I know that I did not provide my children with the stability that they needed. I gave them love but I started when they were young letting them do what they wanted because I was so hurt and angry over their father leaving me all alone to raise them I was thinking about my broken heart and not focusing on what was important at the time and that was raising them and providing for them. I was not setting a good example for them as their mother and the adult in their life. I will truly regret this for the rest of my life and realize that I can't go back and change what happened but just try to forgive myself so that I can heal. I did not take the time to realize that having so many children so close together was not the right thing to do. If you bring so many children into the world that you are not able to provide for them then you are not using very good judgement at all. I just hope that my experiences will help other young women from making the same mistakes that I did as a mother. I know there are other women out there who are going through what I have and wish there was someone to help them understand the importance of being a mother and what it means. Now that my children are grown I just hope that I can be a better mother to them in their adult lives and really be a better grandmother now that I realize the mistakes I made. You have to be strong and determined to pick your life up and turn it around but by the time I turned my life around a lot of damage was already done. When I turned my life around I still struggled to provide for my children because it takes a lot to provide for a big family and I gave up on getting child support from their father because he did not want to pay anyway but I should have fought for the money anyway until they turned 18 years old. I admit that I wanted him out of my life for good and that is why I stopped trying to collect child support from him. I just know that I did not always put my children first and I really regret that and now understand how important doing that meant especially when you are a mother.