As a mother I have always wanted to understand why my daughter feels the way she does. Jennifer is my youngest daughter,but she was the oldest child at home. She has 3 younger brothers whom I know she loves very much. I know I spoiled her when she was young and I should not have done that. When she was young she always wanted to be in her father's life. I know she was not happy because we did not stay together. I believe she has always blamed that on me. I also know that I put her through a lot as a young child. When I got with my husband Richard she was not happy about that. I always felt like I was in the middle of them. What has bothered me is that even though she did not want him in the picture,she always told him things she would not tell me. She seemed happy until around the age of 12. When I look back at old family pictures I see her happy smile. When she was 14 she found her first and only boyfriend and things took a turn for the worse. I always thought she left home because she didn't want to obey the rules. To this day she still tells me that I chose my husband over her. I feel it was one of her tricks she pulled to try to break us up. I know she was not happy with a lot of things that happened in our lives. When she finally got into her father's life and got to know him they could not get along. I know that is one thing that bothers her a lot. Over the past few years we have not been as close as I would like. We have had good times and bad times. I love her very much and always will. I just have a hard time understanding her point of view on certain issues. I am proud of her for striving to have a better life than I did. I want all of my children to have a better life than I did. It is just hard to deal with life's mistakes if your child does not forgive you. I know she loves me and that she just wishes she would of had a better childhood. What makes it harder to understand is when her brothers don't feel the same as her. She blames me for them not being close to her and I know that is not true. I feel they blame her for leaving home at 14. All of my sons look at my husband Richard as their father because he has always been there for them. They never got close to their real father like Jennifer did. Darryl never made a point to be in their life like he did Jennifer. It is so hard to be a parent when you get remarried. Or in my case just married. Sometimes I feel that Jennifer just does not understand how much hurt and pain I have gone through in my life. I know there is no excuse for not putting your children first. But I also feel you should not break up a home for one child. When she left home she went to live with her boyfriend's family and still had to obey the rules that we were asking her to do. I will say that she ended up marrying him and staying with him. I am very proud of her for finishing school and not getting pregnant at an early age like I did. I am trying to understand why she feels the way she does and it might take a little time for this. I just hope she and I can be close again one day soon.
