UNKNOWN WOMAN IN AN OLD PICTURE FRAME
By Veronica Breen Hogle
Who is your grandmother? What is her name?
Is she the unknown woman in the old picture frame
Do you wonder why no one remembers much about her?
Would you like to sit with her and just chat for a while?
Maybe you have a grandmother, but she lives far away
You phone her on her birthday and every holiday
And she keeps the post office in business sending you presents
Perhaps she’s the woman who visits once in a while
Smells of flowers, peppermints and wears wide-brim hats
Brings an old wind-up toy wrapped in the cartoon page of the newspaper
Laughs when you ask “ Is that …really… for me?”
Tells you your dad used to play with it when he was a boy
Does she wake the house up in the middle of the night
wondering if she took her pills twice?
Does she doze in the afternoon? Sip a glass of Sherry? Dress to the nine’s,
and goes out for the Early Bird “Chicken Fiesta” dinner special?
When I was young, almost every child had a grandmother
Most dressed in black, lived down the road
Arrived in the kitchen with no invitation, and put on the kettle for tea
Gave a blow-by-blow account of what happened at the butcher’s
Taught children manners and asked to see schoolwork
Asked what we’d like to be when we grew up
Told us we were wrong, but mostly said we were right
Gave permission to fight and was in our corner
every time there was something worth fighting about
But grandmothers like mine are an endangered species
Many are too old, too sick, or live too far away
Some died a long time ago and did not leave one letter or one photo behind
Other grandmothers are too busy to be grandmothers at all
If you have a grandmother, ask her
to tell you what the world was
like when she was young.
Ask her what she wanted to be
Ask her about the music she danced to
and the love songs she sang
Ask her how she met your grandfather
and where they went on their honeymoon
Ask her what was her greatest achievement
Ask her what was her one big regret
If you are lucky to have a grandmother
visit her soon
She has the answers to the questions you were wondering about
She even knows how you got your first
and second name
She knows about the family secrets
no one ever discussed
Ask her to give you the keys to the past
Through you, the family stories
will be passed on and last.
It’s sad when a beloved a grandmother
is an unknown woman in an old picture frame.