Letters to Lauren

Story ID:	1762
Written by:	Betty (BJ) Roan
Story type:	Family Memories
Writers Conference:	$500 2007 Family Memories Writing Project
Location:	Toledo IL USA
Year:	2006

A Grandmother’s Retrospective
…or Ramblings, You Decide



“When a person dies, a library is burned.”
-Edmund White

As simple and uneventful as it is, this is my library, please don’t burn it.

January 13, 2006
Letter #1

Dear Lauren,

Happy birthday, toot toot-a-root toot, toot tot. In case you don’t remember, that was my way of addressing you, with affection, when you were a toddler. It’s hard to believe you are already six years old. It seems like just a few days ago we were rocking in that old rocking chair. You were a squirming bundle of pink tucked under my chin, and I was a proud, first-time grandma singing (off-key) The Rainbow Song in your ear. The words were from a song I heard in 1970, rocking your mother in the middle of the night, while watching Pete Kelly’s Blues on a black and white television. I only remembered the chorus, but I continued to sing that little snippet over and over to your mother, and then to you.

As you grow older, I become more aware of my mortality. I would like to live long enough to know you as an adult, unfortunately though, life doesn’t always work that way. The old must eventually leave this earth to make room for the next generation.

I’ve often wished I could still talk to my Grandma Cather (Daisy Calista Rice Cather). I’m sure she was a wise woman who could have helped me avoid some of the mistakes I made in my life, had I only been able to ask her advice. I promise to answer any questions you have along the path to adulthood, without censure. I even promise to tell you anything you want to know about me, at least as long as I’m still walking around. In the off chance that I don’t live forever, I’ve decided to give you a different kind of birthday present. This year, in addition to the usual Princess Doll or TY toy, I’m giving you the gift of my written voice. Right now that may not seem like a very exciting gift, however I believe by the time I finish this project…hopefully you won’t be gray headed…you may appreciate my words, maybe even find my ramblings interesting, if not informative, and possibly even bring a smile to a dreary day.

My Grandma Cather passed away while having surgery in 1958. Since I was only eight years old when she died, I didn’t have nearly enough time with her. My Grandma Burton didn’t die until I was twenty-four, but she had fourteen children and there were too many grandchildren to expect special attention. She always seemed too busy to take the time to tell stories about the past, but I suspect she would have been happy to talk to me if she had only known I was curious. Now that I’m older, I wish I would have asked my grandparents for stories from their childhood. I regret not knowing what their lives were like when they were children. I don’t want you to feel that regret.

When I look at you, I see a beautiful little girl with dark blond hair and blue eyes, not blue like the sky, more like the ocean at night. Your eyes provide a glimpse of the old soul that resides deep inside. Those eyes see everything, analyze it, and file it away for later reference. Inside that steel-trap mind resides a wealth of information that you often pull out to surprise me. Sometimes when I watch you, I catch a glimpse of the woman you will one day be. Yes, you are beautiful…but best of all, you have a brilliant mind!

You are such a little artist. I wonder if you will pursue a career in the arts, as was my dream when I was much younger. Maybe you will be a famous artist like Georgia O’Keefe, a photographer like Ansel Adams, or a musician like John Coltrane. Or maybe you will choose to discover the cure for cancer, diabetes, or multiple sclerosis. If you put your brilliance to good use, you will be able to accomplish anything. Whatever career choice you make, I hope you will always save time for the arts.

Until next time, here is something for you to think about. Always show respect to everyone, no matter what their station in life. Remember that every day has the potential to be a wonderful day, but it is up to you to make it great. To be continued…
Love,
Grandma