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'A SHORT CALL, BUT A LONG JOURNEY'

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‘The Short Call, but A Long Journey’ It was almost midnight and our phone rang and rang, but I was hesitant to answer it. My husband answered the ringing phone, silencing it for a time. It was a simple call from a friend. However, there was one phone call in my life that I will never forget, and I now despise answering the phone, especially if it is at an odd hour for somebody to be calling us. I think that fear will be with me always, so, in an effort to try to deal with this fear, I am sharing this story with you. I also hope you, the reader, never has to experience any difficult and agonizing journey like I did, and it all started with ‘THE PHONE CALL’. Here is my story: I awoke to the sounds of a household quite unlike my own. The voice of a small child, the sound of a young man preparing breakfast, the soft voice of a young woman engaged in a phone conversation, were all sounds quite unlike that of my own home. Then the voice of the radio announcer giving the traffic report of the ‘Deerfoot Trail’ slammed me back into reality, making me aware that this was no dream, I was indeed back in my daughters’ home in Calgary, Alberta, and not in my own home in Shoal Harbor, Newfoundland. For a brief moment I lingered in that zone of being awake and somewhat aware but not fully in the present. And to be truthful I wished to stay there. But that was impossible. Work needed to be done. Reality had to be accepted and life had to go on. It had changed but it had to go on. I prepared for the day; silently praying it would be better than yesterday for my daughter. She was pale, still full of questions, waiting for me to have our morning Ginger Ale together. Which we did. Ourlives and the comfort of our routines can change so abruptly. As a mother, a daughter, a woman, and a nurse I knew exactly how it could be. Now it was my turn to experience it. I had witnessed others going down this road for years and years. Having experienced the good and the bad of the human condition, being a student of human nature since childhood into the days of being a new grandmother I knew that at some point my turn would come. However knowing this did not lessen the blow, and the shock and heartache are not diminished just because you know such things can happen. The impact is the same as it is for any other who never gives such things a thought. But we should always know that one day the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune will aim at us, and we will reel from the blow. A midnight phone call to our home in Shoal Harbor, Newfoundland from Calgary, Alberta, came just a week or so after we had returned from holidays and a lovely Christmas in Calgary. We were visiting with our twenty-eight year old daughter, son-in-law, and three-year-old granddaughter, with a two-day visit from our son as well. Little did we know what lay ahead for us in the New Year, 2004. We had said our farewells on January 9th, 2004, hating to go but looking ahead to reuniting at a family wedding in the summer lessened the blow. The trip home was uneventful and we all picked up where we left off before the holidays and the e-mails and phone calls continued between us. Then about ten days after returning home a late night phone call turned our world upside down. Our daughter was ill. She was taken to the Peter Lougheed Centre and after three days of uncertainty and experiencing panic and anxiety, she was given the diagnosis. Heather had ’Hodgkin's Lymphoma’. She was to start chemotherapy as soon as possible. So without question I returned to Calgary to be with her and her family, to lend support, to care for Kylee, to see that the household was somewhat organized, that they had meals, that her fears were eased, doing it all in the best way I know how. Balancing the Nurse and the Mother, the Woman and Grandmother roles, and just doing anything required. My heartache was and is beyond words. The reassurance that Hodgkins Lymphoma has a high cure rate just did not register with me whatsoever. As a nurse I had seen only the Hodgkins Lymphoma patients that were not part of the ‘high cure rate’! Sitting with her in a room with seven other people receiving therapy of different kinds, seeing a different side of the medical system, and watching the pale faces of all the patients including my daughters was heart wrenching. But they smile, make small talk, share their stories, and it shows me a side of my daughter that makes me proud. She is strong in her determination to win over this illness. She has just finished reading the books on Lance Armstrong and Mario Lemieux who won over their cancer and its’ treatment to go on to full and healthy lives. She tells the others of these young men and how they persevered. She is steadfast in her will to persevere also. We take heart in statistics now, because we are a part of those statistics. Hodgkin's Lymphoma has a high cure rate, Alberta has a well-streamlined system for Cancer Clinics and treatment, the doctors are caring and accessible, and the nurses skilled, yet tender. Their approach says “You will make it, you will be OK!” We cling to that in this time of distress. We are on raft, feeling adrift in a confused sea. But I have a daughter who is steering the course, with grit and determination. Her family, friends, co-workers and neighbors are supportive. She continues to make her plans, she continues to remain unwavering in the face of such invasive treatments, and through her we take our lead. She will get well, and we will be there to celebrate with her. Her courage in the face of this sneak attack by a sinister enemy astounds me and gives me strength to carry on. Her medical office team leader said it best. He said with absolute faith, “Heather, you will be well again. But always remember the only thing permanent in life is change.” He is so right. And it all can start with a simple phone call. Bonnie Jarvis-Lowe, Authors Note: I am thrilled to report that at this point in our journey, our daughter has been in remission for almost two years. May she continue to be so.