Epamanondus

ME AND EPAMANONDUS

When I was a child at my grandmother's knee
She often would read or tell stories to me,
And one of the stories I'll never forget
Was "Epamanondus." I think of him yet.

Now he was a lad with a slow, feeble wit.
When given some cake he sat down upon it!
His mom said, "You should have put it in your hat
To carry it home (and looked out where you sat!)."

The next day she sent him down to the food store
To fetch home some butter--a really small chore.
This time he would tote it his good mother's way--
In his hat, on his head, on a hot summer day!

And when he got home with the gold, drippy mess
The poor woman gasped and cried out in distress
"Why didn't you go to the streamlet nearby
And cool it and cool it? Oh, I could just cry!"

Now down in his heart he was anxious to please
So he took his small dog--and not meaning to tease--
Deep into the river he dunked the poor hound.
He cooled it and cooled it. The puppy was drowned.

"Oh, no, silly boy," his distraught mother cried,
A dog should be led by a rope that is tied
'Round his neck,--but don't grieve--run an errand instead.
Dash down to the store for a loaf of wheat bread."

So away to the store he ran off with a smile
And brought home the bread, grinning proudly the while,
For trailing behind with a rope tightly bound
Came the bread as he dragged it along on the ground!

Dear Epamanondus, you have my regards.
I think of you each time I try to play cards.
They tell me that I should have led with an ace.
I try it next time and fall flat on my face.

I wear shorts to the lake; consequently I freeze.
Next time I wear slacks and there's nary a breeze.
I try to outguess them when off to a dance.
If I wear a formal, they'll all be in pants!

I know when I'm called to the regions below
I'm sure to be late, for I tend to be slow.
But this I expect--in some corner to see--
Friend Epamanondus just waiting for me!

Story ID:	477
Written by:	Wanda Molsberry Bates (bio, contact, other stories)
Story type:	Poem
Location:	Manhattan KS USA
Year:	1960