A Touch of Clyde Martin Humor

My dad has a way with words. It's probably the Irish in him. He tells a good story about incidents from his oilfield years or about someone he met over the years. Besides telling a master storyteller, he has a way of taking a sentence and putting his unique spin on it.
One of my favorite remarks of his comes in handy when situations get too exasperating. Most people would say, "It's just one darn thing after another." When faced with an annoyance, Dad pauses and then says, "If it's not one damn thing, it's another damn thing." To get the proper effect with this, say it with a mild tone of resignation and draw it out slowly in the mid-western way. Put the slightest bit of emphasis on the "damn" to get the proper Clyde Martin saying.
Every Thanksgiving and Christmas, I wait for his end-of-meal comment. Replete from the holiday feast, he pushes back his chair and says, "I don't know why you all made so much food, I'm not a bit hungry." To put this in proper perspective, look around at the huge spread of food and at the 20 or 30 children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren that complete the scene.
He liked to tease his grand-daughters. Pretending he's forgotten their name, he says, "Hey there, George, how are you doing?" Indignantly Kristy would correct him, "Grandpa, my name's not George!" He would persist throughout the visit calling her George. It never failed to get a rise out of whoever was "George" that day.
His son-in-law died in a car crash, leaving his oldest daughter with three young children to raise alone. Many of the oilfield workers expressed their sympathy to him, saying "Clyde, I'm sure sorry to hear about your daughter's husband getting killed." His response, perhaps designed to take the emotional edge off the situation, was "Hell, you aren't half as sorry as I am."
Once he bought a car cheaply from someone he worked with. It didn't run, but Dad was handy with car repairs and figured he could salvage it. Once he opened the hood and explored for problems, he quickly had it running again. When asked about his new vehicle, he said, "Why, the damn fool, he didn't have enough sense to put oil in it. There wasn't a bit of oil in there."
Much of his humor is contrarian in nature. As his six children put together plans for a festive fiftieth anniversary party for Dad and Mom, his only comment on the arrangements was "I ain't gonna be there." Knowing his dislike of large gatherings, we weren't sure if he was joking or not. Our anxiety level increased as the date approached and Dad repeated his comment a number of times. To the relief of us all, he did attend and seemed to enjoy seeing old friends and relatives who gathered for the occasion.
An incident at the 50th anniversary party fit his style of humor. His youngest daughter prepared a computer banner with the slogan, "50 YEARS OF GROWING TOGETHER" as a play on their gardening interests. As she hurriedly assembled the sections of the banner, some letters ended up in the wrong order. It said, "50 YEARS OF GROWING TOUGHER." Maybe she inherited Dad's sense of humor.
At other times, he was a man of few words. The family played marathon rounds of cards at holiday gatherings. Dad, the acknowledged master of Nolo, said little as others joked together and complained about the cards they were dealt. He'd invariably bid nolo when his turn came. We knew he couldn't always have a handful of low cards, so hoped to force him to lose points by taking a hand he didn't want. At the end of play, it's amazing how many times he was able to rid himself of kings, queens and aces to make his bid and score the most points. His sly grin said it all.

Story ID:	4331
Written by:	Virginia Allain (bio, link, contact, other stories)
Organization:	none
Story type:	Biography
Location:	El Dorado Kansas USA
Year:	2008
Person:	Clyde O. Martin