The Deacon Tales

The Deacon's tattoos

A deacon in our church is a retired state highway patrolman. He often works with a Sunday school class for first and second graders. On a warm spring morning he removed his jacket, which revealed several tattoos acquired during a tour with the U.S. Navy.

One youngster stared in astonishment. "You--you draw on yourself?"

"No, Silly," another child blurted out. "Those are tattoos. That's what they do to you in prison."

The Deacon's motorcycle

One of our deacons often rides his aging Harley Davidson motorcycle to services on a Sunday morning.

On one occasion the machine became balky and he had to push it back home and walk to church. His wife, in the choir, gave a questioning look when he came in late.

Gesturing with his hands as he walked down the aisle,the deacon simulated rotating the hand throttle on a motorcycle then drew one hand across his throat indicating the engine had quit.

The minister of music, sensing something happening, looked up in time to see the deacon draw his hand across his throat. Puzzled, he dutifully stopped the song at the end of the verse.

Bugle Boy Trousers

One Sunday a teenager wore his new Bugle Boy trousers to church. One of the deacons admired the trousers. "What kind of pants are those?" he asked. "With all those pockets they sure would be handy for playing golf.

"They're Bugle Boys," the youngster said.

Later in the morning the deacon asked the boy's mother, "Where do you buy those--" He searched his memory for the name, and then remembered the bugle emblem. "Those horny boy pants."

Story ID:	3400
Written by:	James Baker (bio, contact, other stories)
Organization:	Writers' Circle
Story type:	Story
Location:	Chandler AZ USA
Year:	1985
Person:	The deacon