Freeze Frame

I wanted to "freeze frame." Hit "rewind" and start over again from scratch. I didn’t - mostly because we were standing in the church foyer. Here’s what happened:

A “church friend” noticed I wasn’t “my usual self.” “Hey Kristine, what’s going on?”

Since Kate (not her real name) asked, I assumed she actually wanted to know. So I told her: the family vacation we’d been planning for the past two years with my out-of-state sister went up in smoke when my husband’s employer—a national retailer who shall remain nameless—cancelled the vacation request he submitted six months ago. This without a word of explanation, two days before our planned departure. Never mind that my sister’s flight was already booked, the motel reservations secured, the rental vehicle reserved and there were plenty of other people to cover for my husband’s time off. This was the ONLY week available for the entire summer. It was too late to change plans or get full refunds. It was too late for everything.

Was this sudden turn of events unfair? Inequitable, unreasonable, and unjust? We thought so. Disappointment and frustration coiled around us like a twin king Cobras. Did we pray? Yep. Appeal, offer alternatives, climb the chain of command? Of course. We tried every option available to make our trip work. It didn’t. Kate’s sage advice? “Just give it to God.”

She meant well. But I still wanted to "freeze frame" and rewind.

Empathetic listening is a lost art in our rush, rush, frantic, frenetic society. Sometimes all a frustrated, disappointed person needs to “bounce back” is a listening ear – the chance to vent – and she can move on. But how many of us are willing to “be there” in these cases? Proverbs 18:13 puts it this way:

“He who answers before listening—that is his folly and his shame.” (NIV)

Next time someone crosses your path who’s not her “usual self,” try this: Stop. Look her in the eye. Put an arm around her shoulder if appropriate. Respect her feelings enough to let her have her say. Avoid the trite clichés. Her feelings may not be a big deal to you, but they obviously are to her. Remember that before you try rushing her to “make it all better.” While you’re at it, resist the temptation to trivialize or belittle her feelings into irrelevance. This doesn’t mean you have to agree with every word. But that fuse of frustration may run much shorter and sparser if more people were willing to act on King Solomon’s sage advice and listen before answering.

www.hevencense.wordpress.com

Story ID:	2985
Written by:	Kristine L. (bio, link, contact, other stories)
Story type:	Story
Location:	-- --
Year:	2007