Squash Proud

Sharon Kay McWhirter Dolbey
July 16, 1948 - March 3, 2002

BJ called Sharon Kay sister, Brent and Derek called her mother, I called her friend. The day we met, I felt an instant camaraderie, as if I had known her in another life or at least since birth. Her smile was like a ray of sunshine piercing a stormy sky, not superficial, it came directly from a heart as big as the state of Texas where she was born.

In 1998, while in the middle of a divorce and after being diagnosed with cervical cancer, Sharon went to her sister's in Dallas. The plan was to stay with BJ while recuperating from surgery and then return to her job in Fairfield. However, when her employer found out she had cancer, she was terminated. With no reason to rush home, Sharon decided to stay in Dallas a little longer. That extension evolved into a permanent move.

Sharon was tall, with hair the color of wheat basking under a summer sun. Her sparkling green eyes crinkled ever so slightly at the corners when she laughed. Even with all she was going through, she didn’t succumb to self-pity. She didn’t even join in during man-bashing rants when her friends talked about their ex-husbands. Maybe it was because David gave her the one thing she wanted most in the world.

Even when she was very young, Sharon knew she wanted to be a mother more than she wanted anything else in life. She dreamed of having fraternal twins, a boy, and a girl. On December 5, 1975 while living in Little Rock her dream came true, with one exception, the twins were both boys. Sharon went into labor six weeks before her due date. She had quietly endured labor pains, not telling anyone until the Johnny Carson Show was over. After a flurry of pandemonium, they arrived at the hospital a mere thirty minutes before Brent was born, naturally, without drugs...breach. Derek was born six minutes later. I guarantee she wouldn’t have traded either of them for a girl. They were her world. She loved them more than life.

To Sharon, Brent and Derek were the most important little people in the world. She was an incredible mother. She fed her babies healthy steamed vegetables grown in her own garden. Sharon’s favorite vegetable was yellow squash. When the twins were a little older, vegetables took on a whole new meaning for them. While praising the boys for some monumental accomplishment, Sharon told them she was plum proud of her sons. For some reason only known to the boys, being plum proud wasn’t quite proud enough. Knowing their mother’s love for yellow squash, they asked if she was squash proud. Surely she couldn’t be more proud than that! Sharon assured them she was indeed squash proud of her boys. The phrase stuck. To the Dolbey boys, “squash proud” is still the only true measurement for pride.

As long as it wasn’t a school day, Sharon Kay let the twins sleep until they wanted to wake up. When they were ready for breakfast, rarely at the same time, she would fix whatever they wanted to eat. During their teenage years, it was sometimes afternoon before breakfast was over.

Teaching her boys wasn’t work to Sharon Kay, it was fun. She fed their hunger for learning by reading books about bugs, birds, trees, dinosaurs, and anything else she thought they might enjoy.

Sharon loved to paint. In addition to landscapes and life-like Texas bluebonnets, she painted portraits of her boys, capturing not only their outer likeness, but their inner spirit. Her sons inherited those artistic talents, Derek her love of painting, while Brent found his niche in metal and wood. Through the years, Sharon remained squash proud of her sons.

Sharon was a cook to rival Martha Stewart. I’ve tasted her soup, I know. I’m told she also made a mean German chocolate cake, and for her sister the best sugar-free strawberry cheese cake ever. She could bake any kind of cookie, even make candy. When Sharon had recuperated enough to go back to work, she taught herself to use the computer, easily mastering both Word and Excel. Let’s face it; there wasn’t anything she couldn’t do if she put that brilliant mind to work.

Before Brent and Derek, Sharon’s children were golden retrievers named Shavid and Daron. Their names were derived from a combination of Sharon and her husband David. Shavid loved his Auntie B.J. When BJ came for a visit, he would head for the water bowl, fill his mouth with water, and wait patiently for BJ to sit down. Then Shavid would nonchalantly trot over to greet his Auntie and then, oops, empty the contents of his mouth in her lap. Sharon was very good at training animals, I wonder…

BJ was and still is a dog person. Even so, after Sharon moved in she gave her sister a cat. Sagan had long white hair with a charcoal marking between his ears. The cat was on display at Pet Smart. BJ could tell Sharon really liked the cat, so while Sharon was petting Sagan, BJ filled the cart with cat accessories, and then pushed the cart over to where Sharon was still petting the cat. BJ asked Sharon if she thought they might need a cat to go with all the stuff in the cart, and of course she did.

BJ and Sharon took several vacations together, Cancun, Cozumel, and St. Thomas. Sharon had always wanted to visit Santa Fe, so they started planning a trip. Since they were both alone, the sisters planned to eventually retire together and spend their later years traveling, doing everything together. Sharon had a sixth sense. She knew things it seemed impossible for her to know, so maybe she wasn’t surprised when all of their dreams ended with her diagnosis of stage 4 ovarian cancer.

It was a cold, dark morning in March. Together Brent, Derek, and BJ gave their beloved Sharon permission to let go, freeing her to leave the pain behind. At 4:46 a.m. on March 3, 2002, darkness wrapped Sharon Kay in a blanket of comfort, spiriting her away from those who loved her most. She was gone in body, but she will remain forever in the hearts of those of us who loved her.

A few weeks after Sharon’s death, BJ came to my house. As we had done with Sharon in the past, we walked over to The Cottonwood Arts Festival. I wanted to find a painting or some type of wall art to hang in the living room. In addition to Sharon’s many other talents, she knew how to decorate a room. We joked about Sharon coming with us in spirit, and if she found something, she would trip us so we would know the perfect piece was nearby. After the first two rows of booths and not finding anything suitable, I was about to give up. On the third row, walking a few steps ahead of BJ, I stumbled. I looked down, but didn’t see anything that would have caused me to trip. I turned around to tell BJ, just as she stumbled, too. We looked at each other, chuckling over the fact that Sharon had tripped us. It was meant to be a silly joke, something to laugh about later, but then we really did look around. The booth to our left had a sign posted. The sign read 'Sharon’s Gifts'. Coincidence? I think not.

Story ID:	2104
Written by:	Betty (BJ) Roan (bio, link, contact, other stories)
Story type:	In Memory
Writers Conference:	$500 2007 Family Memories Writing Project
Location:	Dallas TX USA
Year:	2002
Person:	Sharon Kay Dolbey