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The Adoption-After keeping Stephanie I was really feeling alone and scared. Darryl social worker was still pushing for Stephanie to be given up for adoption. I remember having her picture taken and taking her for her shots. But it was not easy being a young mother with no money and no help from her father. I was about to make one of the hardest decisions of my life. In May of 1979 I decided to go ahead and give Stephanie up for adoption. The Rose Keller Adoption Agency in Lakeland Florida was handling the adoption. I remember taking her to this place and handing her to someone else. My heart was breaking and my eyes full of tears. Darryl and I both had to fill out papers. I know his social worker was happy about this. I really hated that man. Stephanie was 4 months old and I thank god that I at least got to keep her for that long. We filled out the papers and they told me I could update my information every 5 years so they would have it when she became an adult. I left that place feeling so lonely and hurt. It was such an empty feeling leaving my baby girl behind. Darryl and I continued to see each other and a month later I was pregnant again. We moved in together and both of us got jobs. We moved to Tampa to be near his family. We rented an effeciency,it was not very big but it was our place. He was driving a truck and I was working in a restaurant. When I was 6 months pregnant my sister passed away on December 1,1979. She was only 4 years old and had struggled with the leukemia her whole life. This was very hard on my parents,especially my mother. Darryl and I went to the funeral and this was another hard loss for me to take. When I was around 8 months pregnant we moved to Bartow to live with one of Darryl's sisters and her family. He was still driving a truck and on March 25,1980 I gave birth to another baby girl. Darryl was actually at the hospital this time. We named her Jennifer Ann Lee. She was beautiful and I was determined that I was not losing another child no matter what. Darryl started messing around on me and our problems began. He was seeing his sister in law on the side. He never offered to marry me after all this time. We split up and got back together and I got Pregnant again. I got pregnant with my 3rd child in November of 1980. Jennifer and I were living with friends when I was 8 months pregnant and Darryl decided to marry the girl he had been seeing. My heart was broken again. I was so hurt at the time,but I was still so in love with Darryl. On July 24,1981 I gave birth to our first son. This was my 3rd child by Darryl and he came to the hospital to ask me to give him his name. Being the fool that I was I did what he ask. I named our son Darryl Lee Jr. When Darryl Jr. was 4 months old he got sick and had to spend 5 days in the hospital. He was born at Tampa General Hospital and that is where he went in the hospital at. Darryl and his wife went to the hospital to see him when I was not there. The nurse told me and this made me very upset. I did not want another woman seeing my baby. I was living with friends and receiving welfare and food stamps. Of course Darryl did not stay with his wife and I continued to see him of and on. The one thing he could not deal with was that I was lonely and had a one night stand. So when I turned up pregnant again for the 4th time in November of 1981 he said the child was not his. Of course he would later find out that it was his. I was living with some more friends of mine while pregnant and Darryl would come to see Jennifer and Darryl Jr. but he never had any money for diapers or formula. He was not paying any child support either. He was just a deadbeat dad. On July 6,1982 I gave birth to another healthy baby boy. I named him Shannon Dale,he was my 2nd son by Darryl. I stayed in the hospital for only one day just so I could get back home to my children. I remember riding the city bus home in the rain that day. I left Shannon at the hospital because they did not do his circumcision until 3 p.m. that day and I had to wait until 7 p.m. to bring him home. My friends took me back up to the hospital to get Shannon that night. When Shannon was around 4 months old the children and I were staying with Darryl's parents. He was there from time to time. But this is when he decided to go find his second wife a girl still in high school. My children and I moved into a place of our own. My family moved up to Tampa and we started living with them. This was in January of 1983 when Shannon was 6 months old. Darryl would come over from time to time and visit Jennifer and Darryl Jr. when I called to arrange it. He still was not helping with their support and I was still on welfare. By living with my family I was able to go out once in a while and get a much deserved break. I still loved Darryl ,yet I was lonely and sad. I was building up a lot of pain and anger toward him that would stay with me for a long time. I had given birth to 4 children by Darryl and he did not love me or them. I was just to stupid to realize it.
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