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They say you never forget your mothers love. I remeber my mothers beautiful smile and unconditional love. I could always talk to her about anything. My mother passed away on June 9,1999. I remember getting the call from my brother and thinking to myself that I knew what he was going to say to me. The guilt that I live withis from not being able to afford to attend her funeral. I just can't forgive myself for not being able to attend my own mothers funeral. I had been out of contact with my mother for a few years at the time. I can't really remember the last time I saw her. I use to blame my father for her illnesses. But since her passing I have decided to forgive and forget,because I know that is what my mother would want from me. Since her passing I have made a vow to go to the cemetary every Mothers Day. I buy the prettiest flowers I can find for her. My mother battled heart diesease and mental illness most of her life. She spent a lot of time in the hospital. I believe she gave up on living and did not want to suffer any more. She blamed my father for all the children leaving home at an early age. She believed that he drove us away. I know she enjoyed being a mother and grandmother. I feel she no longer suffers and that she is in heaven watching down on me. My mother endured a life of pain and sorrow. She knew what it was like to lose a child to leukemia. It was hard to raise 6 children when you are poor. I remember my father working 2 jobs to try to support us. Our family did have a lot of love and we still do. I want to remember my mother as the most beautiful woman I know. I do remember times when she was herself and I could talk to her about my problems. She always encouraged me to take care of myself and be proud of who I was. I love her so much and I miss her everyday. I miss not being able to tell her one last time how much I really do love her. I guess that is the hardest part for me. This is in loving memory of Joyce Dianne Powell,born on March 23,1945. I love you.
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