The Charm

You should just keep to the story. All the other stuff distracts, from my point of view.

That said, it's a good story -- classical moral dilemma or choice, but interesting.

I found the dialogue a little unnatural and the character development somewhat lacking. For example, why was the cousin worth saving? Just because he's young? Maybe the cousin will turn out to be a serial killer. Who knows? If we came to know both the mother and the cousin, then we might agree more with the choice that was made. Developing these characters more in a short story is hard to do since you have to do it in only a few words.

All in all, a good yarn.

Excellent critique, Steve
I totally agree, but when you are limited to 24 hours and 1000 words, it's hard to really develope characters and a good flow. It's meatball writing at its best.

Actually, the contest is going to be this weekend again. You should give it a try. I love it. It's a rush.
Check out writersweekly.com.
Scroll down about half way. You'll find the link to sign up. It only costs $5
Mike